It's Meee!!!!

Yes, I'm that egocentric.

I haven't posted for a long time (obviously), and I happened to find these in a random email in a random person's inbox. Maybe it was mine...



I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a 3-yr-old was resisting a rest.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.

A thief fell & broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft & I'll show you a flat miner.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France , resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

A calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

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Anyway, some humor for those of you who are lexophiles. If you know what that word means, you're probably one of them.

Tomorrow is the national bridge contest. I was excited to get 2nd in the regional back in February, but as usual, I put off building my bridge for the national a little too long.
I have very little faith in my bridge, but I sent it off anyway. What do I have to lose? (except five dollars postage) I think I know exactly where it's going to break. Oh well.

14 comments: (+add yours?)

Mr. Worm said...

"...it is two tired." - AH, HA! So that's where I developed my problem between tiered and tired!

"A will is a dead giveaway." - BWAAAA, HAAA, HAAA!

Thanks, Sissy Ribby! :-)

Steven said...

"A will is a dead giveaway."

Oh man.. GROAN.

Congrats on the bridge contest!

Sarcastic Sally said...

Lexophile -- someone who refuses to drive anything but a Lexus -- right?

Hmm... I'm more of an etymologyphile...
I have a bad habit of completely missing what people are trying to tell me, because I'm off in my own world trying to figure out what some cool word they used is derived from...or recalling a word that sounds similar in a completely different language and trying to remember what it actually means.

What was this post about again?

Hey, when do you find out how your bridge did?

Mr. Nerd said...

Well?

Steven said...

Probably another dead blog. :(

satire and theology said...

'In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.'

Well stated.:)

Steven said...

ATTACK OF THE DORMANT BLOG PIRATE!

Q. Why don't people like pirates??

A. Because they smell AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRFUL! (awful)

Cool Guy said...

We want a post!!!!!

Cool Guy said...

We want a post!!!!!

Cool Guy said...

We want a post!!!!!

Cool Guy said...

We want a post!!!!!

Cool Guy said...

We want a post!!!!!

Cool Guy said...

We want a post!!!!!

Cool Guy said...

You know, it's REALLY about time.