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RSSHere I sit - fixed -
While worlds around me spin.
Unsupported, hanging - yet
Supported by - nothing.
Vastness, space around me spreads,
No up or down or right or left
All merges into one, whole,
Vast,
Unending,
Expanse.
Yet of the air my dreams are made,
Like birds they soar into the sky.
I reach for the clouds, the air, my dreams.
I fall short.
They soar too high.
Cellphone Pictures 2011
12 years ago
7 comments: (+add yours?)
LOL! Did you write that?
Of course I wrote it!
Do you have any idea what it's talking about? I thought of it while I was sitting in bed last night.
And, it's not all that funny. This is the only poem (and I'm not trying to sound weird) that really means something to me. Most poems are sort of contrived, but this poem just sort of flowed out.
Very nice, Rjentina. I'm not "into" poetry (as much as loud, head-banging Rock-n-Roll, as you know :-), but I find myself enjoying your material--whether poetry or simple story, you are a good writer. Of course, as much as poetry is personal to the author, as you know, it's also "personal" to the reader. With that in mind, here's my thoughts.
I like the contrast in meter between the first and second sections (at least, that's how I'm reading it). The second section seems to conclude the first with a nice "wrap-up" rhythm (if that makes sense).
As for content, it reminds me of what an atheist may think when gazing into the sky and then his/her future--the first in inexplicable, the second is unattainable.
I get a sense of...fateful resignation: All is Vanity (to quote The Preacher).
Of course, even as Christians we can find ourselves thinking this way. And its at those time especially that we must remember the Gospel and our place in it (our place in Him!).
...then again I also can see this as the angst of the Believer who knows the truth but struggles to live into it. I find myself in this position often and these words, especially the 2nd part, sum up this idea for me.
Anyway, as a first perusal, these are the things that came to my mind. And what came to my mind may be completely different than what comes to someone else's mind or what you intended in the first place. Oh well, as I said, Poetry is "Personal".
Keep up with your writing--you're very good!
GGM
Actually, my meaning wasn't quite that deep; it was more literal!
But I like your interpretation/ideas about it. I never thought about my poem like that before, but I like it!
Thanks for your comments!
*does the happy dance*
Yeah! I finally read your blog!
Hey, I like your poem. I think it's more of a mood poem. I like how "choppy" (I know that word isn't aloud when talking about poetry) it is - it makes it feel like a sigh. You just can't quite get there. Poor Becca J! All your dreams dashed to pieces! *sniff, sniff*...*WAAHHHHHH*...*blow, blow* Hey, I think I could write comic strips!
KODOL... Wow. I don't think that deep.
I like it!
I like it so much, I want to add to it!
____
The higher they soar,
the farther I fall.
My back breaks.
It's painful.
So,
Very,
Painful.
____
Sorry... You should probably block me from being able to comment. :-P
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